I love my Fridays. On Friday I do most of my university work and so I can spend a whole day reading articles and writing and generally getting immersed in what I love best. Do you know anyone else who gets high on the thought of spending hour after uninterrupted hour surrounded by information?! It’s a bit hedonistic for me to even consider entering a library – oh the bliss!!
But occasionally, as you know, I peek out from behind my tower of papers and enter the weird world of trivia and humour. So, behold! A couple of things I found on the net over the past few days…
Firstly, we know that boys have boy germs and girls have girl germs, and this is why they never have anything in common until just after puberty – then it’s all on. But did you know that girls are evil? Here is the mathematical proof:
Some words of wisdom to the men in our lives (guys, if you do this she’ll be YOURS, I mean it!)
When she stares at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you
[ Grab her and dont let go ]
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she’s quiet
[ Ask her whats wrong ]
When she says she’s ok
[ don’t believe it, talk with her ]
When she ignores you
[ Give her your attention ]
When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she’s beautiful- and MEAN it ]
When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and don’t say a word ]
When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she’s scared
[ Protect her ]
When she steals your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesn’t answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]
When she says that she loves you
[SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!!!]
When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]
When she bumps into you;
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until she does ]
– Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
– When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go
– because 10 yrs later she’ll remember you
– Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
– Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
– Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.
– Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid.
– Give her the world.
– Let her wear your clothes.
– When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her Let her know she’s important!
– Kiss her in the pouring rain.
– When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;
“Whose ass am I kicking baby?”
Isn’t that sweet?!!
Now, time is getting on, and the calendar is ticking over steadily (no this is NOT a lead-in to how many shopping days before That Day) – did you know that September 24 is National Punctuation Day? (well at least it is in the US!). If you get confused by apostrophes and commas (note the lack in that sentence?) – go to this site for all the uses of punctuation marks you can think of. And probably grammar which I don’t think of. Can you tell? Did you know that there is an Apostrophe Protection Society? Very British, it’s polite and circumspect – but there are others out there who suggest a militant wing is in order: “Why did the Apostrophe Protection Society not have a militant wing? Where do you get balaclavas?” -Lynne Truss (“Eats, Shoots, and Leaves”)
I especially liked this quote:”Any language where the unassuming word fly signifies an annoying insect, a means of travel, and a critical part of a gentleman’s apparel is clearly asking to be mangled.” – Bill Bryson (“The Mother Tongue: English & How It Got That Way”)
The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks raises a few giggles for me…here’s an example
And finally, Friday wouldn’t be Friday without some LOLCatness, or should that be “LOLCatness”?
This is a great post, I hope with tongue in cheek, about literacy and LOLCats. It’s all true.