Friday Funnies!

At the end of a long hard week, there’s something lovely about thinking ‘One more job to do and it’s Gin & Tonic time!’.  Which brings me rather rapidly to today’s tips from Supertherapist.  I couldn’t possibly admit to being in any need of her advice, but you may know one or two people who could benefit from remembering the wisdom brought to you from experience.

Remember, when speaking to certain doctors, do NOT say “Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?”

When conversing with managers, NEVER say “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.”

In supervision, be cautious about saying “I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?”

To the woman from Human Resources, avoid mentioning “Is it time for your medication or mine?”

…and at all costs, hold your tongue when this phrase bubbles up “You! Off my planet!!”

SuperTherapist also whispers the following advice:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a chocolate bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the chocolate bar.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy , toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. (Examples: Rolo’s, buttered popcorn, marshmallows, chocolate-dipped icecreams andJaffa’s.)

7. Bikkie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. (Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.)

10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

12. Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)

SuperTherapist also recommends a dose or two of LOLCats
funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Have a great weekend!

Friday funnies!

It’s that time again – winding down for the weekend after a busy few days. This weekend I’m heading to the hills where apparently it’s snowing again (this is SPRING folks!).
We’re going to a place called ‘the retreat’ which is in behind Lake Coleridge – no electricity, no phone coverage, no nothing!
View Larger Map

Oh and you have to do a 4WD trek for about 20 minutes (or more depending on how high the river is and if it’s dark or not!) to get to the dwelling. Sheba is going to love it – there will be RABBITS!

This is not me…

BTW you can rely on me for stress relief
therapy crossroads

Friday funnies

This from Manly Jack…

Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience … and most of that comes from bad judgment.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.


Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the  colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often  do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Ford Mustang’ the ‘Ford Labrador’?

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and  Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just  because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a  cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.

5. The  rubbish collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play  tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

7.  Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying  ‘hello’.

8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The  cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that  noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

Have a good one!

A LOLcat weekend

funny pictures of cats with captions

Mebbee dey mennt liddle horses?
350 horsies can do much more work than one silly lil truck.

Ehn. I see yer problem right here – there’re no horses in this enjin.
also, there’s no hay for them either.

funny pictures of cats with captions
Step on me I kill u

funny pictures of cats with captions
Musta ported in from da 1970’s…

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Shooda used da teleporter

Have a great weekend – the first weekend in SPRING!

Frivolous Friday – tidbits and trivia for your entertainment!

I love my Fridays. On Friday I do most of my university work and so I can spend a whole day reading articles and writing and generally getting immersed in what I love best. Do you know anyone else who gets high on the thought of spending hour after uninterrupted hour surrounded by information?! It’s a bit hedonistic for me to even consider entering a library – oh the bliss!!

But occasionally, as you know, I peek out from behind my tower of papers and enter the weird world of trivia and humour. So, behold! A couple of things I found on the net over the past few days…

Firstly, we know that boys have boy germs and girls have girl germs, and this is why they never have anything in common until just after puberty – then it’s all on. But did you know that girls are evil? Here is the mathematical proof:

Some words of wisdom to the men in our lives (guys, if you do this she’ll be YOURS, I mean it!)