At the end of a long hard week, there’s something lovely about thinking ‘One more job to do and it’s Gin & Tonic time!’. Which brings me rather rapidly to today’s tips from Supertherapist. I couldn’t possibly admit to being in any need of her advice, but you may know one or two people who could benefit from remembering the wisdom brought to you from experience.
Remember, when speaking to certain doctors, do NOT say “Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?”
When conversing with managers, NEVER say “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.”
In supervision, be cautious about saying “I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?”
To the woman from Human Resources, avoid mentioning “Is it time for your medication or mine?”
…and at all costs, hold your tongue when this phrase bubbles up “You! Off my planet!!”
SuperTherapist also whispers the following advice:
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a chocolate bar, the diet soda cancels out the calories in the chocolate bar.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy , toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel. (Examples: Rolo’s, buttered popcorn, marshmallows, chocolate-dipped icecreams andJaffa’s.)
7. Bikkie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. (Examples: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and mashed potatoes.)
10. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
11. Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
12. Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
SuperTherapist also recommends a dose or two of LOLCats
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Have a great weekend!
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