Friday Funnies!

As the onset of winter approaches, it’s time to grab every opportunity for humour, fun and silliness.  I think it’s vital – all that black winter clothing is so depressing maybe the flat mood is just because of having no colour!  While the weather today is chilly, crisp and not too bad – I can feel the bad weather in my bones… So take a break, and enjoy!

After the airline pilot had managed to land the planeinto Wellington airport  — albeit bumpily — following a descent through exceptionally heavy weather, she came out of the flight deck to bid the passengers farewell as they gratefully left the plane  on their way back to terra firma.

The most memorable comment he received was from a little old lady who asked him politely whether he would please satisfy her curiosity on just one point: “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

Why doesn’t this happen more often huh?

…and I can empathise with this kitteh!

Pardon, my cynicism is showing.

But still, there is light and hope and colour – it’s not quite winter yet!

Friday Funnies!

Oh yes, it’s back again – Friday Funnies, and more opportunities for me to ‘treat’ you to my warped humour.  My apologies in advance.

First up, a quick quiz…

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why, when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Our manager is keen to help us develop teamwork – perhaps this would work?

The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system. No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”

Oh, I forgot – that’s why meetings are so long.  (on a more serious note: this is a good, albeit simplistic, paper on teamwork in health settings)

’nuff for today, except to leave you with something from my travels in Molesworth Station.

Friday Funnies!

No.  I am the Christmas Grinch right now.  After hearing various cheesy and horrid renditions of Christmas Carols when I went into the local shopping mall, I can tell you the LAST thing I want to think of are Season’s Greetings!

So, nothing Christmassy here – instead you’ll see good, wholesome humour of the worst kind.  Sorry.

Oh no, another cutesy animal picture… bring me a bucket!

Last but not least (and this is NOT me!)

It must be time for Friday Funnies!

I can heave a sigh of relief, because draft number two (hopefully final draft) of the PhD proposal is off to be reviewed…if I only didn’t ask so many questions of myself I’m sure it would be easier!
So, time to chill out and bit and start the process of relaxing before Labour Weekend.

Friday funnies

I just read this on Psychology of Pain:

13 Things You Don’t Say to People with Chronic Pain

1. You don’t look sick.
2. Maybe if you just got out more.
3. You can learn to live with it.
4. You just have to tough it out.
5. It’s all in your head.
6. You’re just having a bad day.
7. This will pass.
8. Just get more exercise.
9. It can’t be that bad.
10. It must be neat not to work.
11. Just be more positive.
12. It could be worse.
13. There’s people worse off than you .

Yep, I think I’d inflict pain on anyone who said any of these to me.

I got this one the other day from Manly Jack – a friend of his has just had a heart attack and is confined to walking for 5 minutes at a time – the rest he has to REST.  Which means far too much time on the internet, which means WAY too many funnies being forwarded to Manly Jack, which means I get more material for Friday funnies!

A new Tesco supermarket has just opened in Tunbridge Wells.  
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the fresh milk stand, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and sausages.

In the alcohol department, the clean, crisp smell of hops of the freshly brewed bitter.

When you approach the egg section, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh-baked bread and biscuits.

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.

…can’t resist the dog funnies this week. Some are oldies, but all are goodies!

hurtful cat

I do fit

Have a great weekend! I’m working on my PhD proposal – oh and marking a few assignments…sigh…

I’m a member of the Friday fanclub!

A long weekend beckons – Manly Jack is going to Stewart Island, and the camera gear is lined up ready to try out some off-camera flash (strobist if you’re into jargon).  Go here for some info on Strobist – lots of fun and not quite as difficult as the shots would suggest.

If you’re not a Kiwi, the significance of this weekend will be somewhat lost – it’s Queen’s Birthday Weekend, celebrating Her Majesty’s birthday, but not on the actual day.  I have no idea why, but this link might help you… It means we have an extra day off on Monday, and there are lots of pictures of corgi’s and crowns in the adverts.

Truly amazing the images you can find on the internet!
These ones you won’t find anywhere else though…
dark circles

favourite disease

Friday funnies

For once I’m going to be slightly sensible on a Friday Funny – and point you here to a brief post by Dr Shock about the health benefits of humour.

People who study humour – are they seriously funny?

Actually, while you’re there, take a wander around the rest of his/her posts – some really interesting (ah, should that be ‘neurostimulating’) posts on a range of topics.

Now, for all women who have struggled so long and hard to find the Right Gift for The Man of Your Life – here are a bunch of presents your man REALLY wants.  (Thanks Manly Jack for the not-so-subtle hints!)





To finish: a LOLcat, ‘cos I haven’t posted one in a while!

Really bad puns….

for all lexophiles (lovers of words)

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

16. A calendar’s days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery. (more…)