For a minute, I’d like you to grab an ice-cube. If you don’t have one handy, try this at home or when you’re having your next gin and tonic. Hold onto that ice-cube. Keep holding onto it. Put a cloth underneath if it’s going to melt, but keep holding it. Now do your grocery shopping list. Or balance your accounts. While holding the ice-cube.*
Now add some exercises. Exercises you don’t care for, but feel like you have to do “because they’ll help you get better”.
Keep holding onto the ice-cube. Oh, it’s melted?! Fine – go grab another. Hand too cold to pick on up? Never mind, go find one and just do it. And keep doing the grocery shopping list. And the exercises.
Add in a night of not sleeping. Make that a week of not sleeping.
Add in having a new medication to take every day at night at the same time. The medication makes your mouth dry, constipates you, and you can’t wake up because it makes you feel sluggish.
Keep holding the ice-cube.
Phone your employer to say you’ll be in, but a therapist is going to visit you at work to see what you can do. Hold onto the ice-cube. The employer says OK but when are you coming back to work full time? I need you, or I’ll have to get someone else in.
Grab another ice-cube, keep holding it. Hand getting numb and sore? OK, therapy will help that! Here’s some mindfulness to do. And breathe…. and don’t forget the exercises. And that other appointment with a case manager to sign your rehabilitation plan. And do the groceries while you’re there. Keep holding that ice-cube.
And don’t be like that! Don’t get snippy with the kids, just pull yourself together! Hold onto the ice-cube. Lie awake worrying about work and how you’ll balance the accounts. Forget to take the medications, feel terrible – all sweaty and nauseous. Turn up to the employer with the therapist in tow. Hold on to the ice-cube.
The therapist says you can’t do this, or that, and you need to break your work up into chunks like this, and here’s a gadget that might help. Your employer rolls his eyes at you behind the back of the therapist. Keep holding that ice-cube.
Case manager phones saying she’s very sorry, but the paperwork for your weekly compensation hasn’t been filled out properly, you’ll have to go to the doctor to get another certificate, talk to your employer and have you done your exercises yet? Do you need to see a psychologist? Hold onto the ice-cube.
Your partner, who has been magnificent up until now, loses the plot when he gets home today. Hold onto the ice-cube, don’t let it drop. Feel that pain. Breathe. Do exercises. Take meds. Worry about job. Worry about relationship – partner comes to bed but turns the other way. Realise you missed getting a warrant of fitness for the car, think about putting that on the list for tomorrow.
…and someone said people on compensation for pain are just “non-copers”
If you’re a therapist, remember what you ask a person to do is only one thing in a vast, unfamiliar and confusing sea of things to do. All the while holding on to an ice-cube that’s burning into your hand….
*Try this at home so you can experience what it might be like to have pain that’s present, intense, and gets in the way of life. BTW it’s not a treatment for chronic pain!!