The third of a series about using values and empathy to help people make choices
The previous two installments in this series have introduced the concepts of stages of readiness for change, rapport and empathy and appreciating that the people we work with have their own values influencing the choices they make. This paper introduces two strategies that can help people directly influence the focus of therapy while at the same time enabling you as a therapist to signal areas that are important.
From the outset of a clinical encounter, you as the therapist direct the interaction. This means you have the responsibility for ensuring the person you are working with has opportunities for choice. In order for you to find out what is important to the person, you need to ask about how their health situation is affecting them. This sets the agenda for your session.
Agenda are usually set by you – so giving the patient/client the opportunity to set what that is important to them at the outset immediately establishes your credentials as someone who will take them seriously.
We often do things that have unintended consequences in the medium to long term, while satisfying immediate desires. While we don’t always like the unintentional outcomes, it can be very difficult to resist instant gratification! While we satisfy our craving for chocolate, we risk gaining weight. Our taste for chocolate might make us feel better – but our good feelings disappear when we step onto the scales in a fortnight’s time… Similarly, the person who doesn’t want to work to quota because he ‘has to mow the whole lawns – and cut the edges’ may be reducing the immediate distress of letting the family down, but ends up being unable to go to work for a day – letting his employer down.
Part of what we are doing as we establish rapport is becoming aware of what is important (therefore valuable) to the person – and from this we can develop goals with the person that (hopefully) align with their values in the medium and long term.
Read further on this topic in my Coping Skills section.
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